Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Why is Babaar's Mother Dead? (or how I discovered my 3-year-old is a republican idealist)

After reading naptime book #2...

Lily: Why is Babaar's mother dead?
Mommy: Because the greedy hunter shot her.
Lily: Why did he shoot her?
Mommy: because he wanted to sell her tusks.
Lily: Why did he want to sell her tusks?
Mommy: because elephant tusks are made of ivory and they are very valuable. If he took her tusks, he could sell them and make lots of money to buy all the things he wanted: houses, cars, candy, etcetera.
Lily: Will the greedy hunter shoot me?
Mommy: (mentally tossing that wretched Babaar book out the window, the window, the second story window) Absolutely not! You do not have tusks because you are not an elephant.
Lily: (ponders this for a moment) The greedy hunter should get a job instead so he has money for candy and doesn't have to shoot Babaar's mother.

Etcher, Gotchee & Laashy Made Me Do It!

After an hour of listening to Lily play instead of nap, I went upstairs and in to her room. After settling in together in her story chair...

Mommy: Why aren't you sleeping, Lily?
Lily: Well, at first I was sleeping, but then there was the new family.
Mommy: What new family?
Lily: The new family in my room. Their names are Etcher, Gotchee, and Laashy. (She leans in, conspiratorially) They talked to me.
Mommy: What did they say?
Lily: (whispers) They said I should run around my room and play with all this I did. (she gives me a grin)
Mommy: Well could you please tell Etcher, Gotchee & Laashy to find another place to play so that you can nap?
Lily: Yep! I'll tell them to go to Andrew's room!

The Birds and the Bees and the Giraffes

(while at the Zoo yesterday)

Lily: Daddy, Daddy! Did you know the giraffes names are Asha and Punk? (information acquired from the poor PA system on the Zoo train; not necessarily accurate)
Daddy: Nope.
Lily: Daddy, Daddy! Did you know both the giraffes are girls?
Daddy: Nope.
Mommy (and I'm still not sure what possessed me to say this) Lily, Lily! Did you know that the Zoo is raising money to acquire a boy giraffe from another zoo?
Lily: (looks puzzled) Why would they do that?
Mommy: Well, if the boy giraffe likes either Asha or Punk they can get married and make baby giraffes.
Lily: (thinks for a minute, then says excitedly) Can we!!?
Mommy: (shares horrified look with Daddy) Can we what, honey?
Lily: Can we give the Zoo the money to buy a boy giraffe so Asha and Punk can make giraffes babies!? Can we please?