Monday, July 29, 2013

Lilyisms: more Louisiana quotes I forgot to post

Mommy: (over the blaring theme song of Chuggington) Ok, Lily. It's time to go. Do you remember how to turn off the TV?
Noni: Wait! Don't turn it off. Peanut likes to watch TV while we are gone. 
Mommy: Poor Peanut. 
Lily: No! Not poor Peanut! She loves to watch Disney Junior!
Mommy: (as we are walking out the door, Peanut staring at us mournfully) Sorry, Girl. I'd change it to the cooking channel if I thought I'd get away with it. 

Lily: Mommy! I need to tell you something. I am already THREE! And I can't fly a rocket ship yet!
Mommy: I think Little Einstein's has set an unfair example for you. Most other three year olds also can not fly rocket ships. 

Lily: When you get married you aren't a daughter anymore. 
Mommy & Noni: (simultaneously) Oh yes you are!!
Mommy: when you get married you go to live somewhere else with your husband but you're always a daughter. Remember how Auntie Kayla moved out to live with Uncle Kendell? 
Lily: yes but she just kept coming back and coming back. ::Thinks a minute:: She forgot she was married. 

Lily: (comes running into the room) Is everything ok, fine and shipwrecked in here?
Mommy: Shipwrecked?
Lily: It means everything is all clean. 
Mommy: I think you meant ship-shape. Shipwrecked is when your boat is broken. 
Lily: Nope. Shipwrecked. 

Whale Sharks, Sugar Bugs, Emeralds & An Old Lady

Lily: If I fell into a whale shark, I'd turn into food. ::thinks for a second:: But the whale shark would be sick forEVER!

Lily: Mommy! Mommy! The Snack Patrol said candy bars and soda weren't yummy or healthy!
Mommy: I don't suppose there's any way we can just forget the Snack Patrol ever said that, is there?
Lily: But Mommy! I love candy bars and soda!
Mommy: do you remember when the dental hygienist said sugar bugs live in our food and we brush our teeth to get rid of them?
Lily: yes. 
Mommy: well sugar bugs really like candy bars and sodas. They always live in candy bars and sodas. 
Lily: ::very seriously:: But Mommy! Some candy bars are good. And some sodas. 
Mommy: You mean the ones you really like, right?
Lily: (Looks at me fiercely as if she can force me to agree with her using only her eyes) Yes, exactly. I like the ones with m&m's in them. They are healthy and give me lots of energy! 

Lily:  Noni has an Emerald necklace and an Emerald ring. 
Mommy: Noni really likes Emeralds. That's why she named me Emerald. I really like Lilies. That's why I named you Lily.
Lily: I really like mommies. That's why I call you Mommy. 

Lily: Auntie Kayla, why do you have those glasses?
Kayla: Because my eyes don't work so well without them
Lily: Sometimes, when I'm pretending to be an old woman, I wear glasses like that.

Sunday, July 28, 2013

What She Says When Mom's Not Around...

So yesterday, Lily went to VBS without me. In my childhood, unless my mother was my VBS teacher--which was more often than not, VBS was something I did without her. So when we just happened to be in town for VBS at my parents' church, I thought it would be no problem for Lily to just go without me--she genuinely does do things without me frequently. 

I went to pick Lily up at the end of the day and Miss Sheila, a family friend who offered to keep an eye on her for me, said, "Well. I don't know if Lily enjoyed VBS, but I know we all enjoyed having Lily." I didn't know what that meant, exactly, but I thanked her for taking care of Lily and we went home. 

I was certain Lily had learned SOMETHING, as she came home singing The Shark Song and Jesus Loves Swahili. 

This morning at church, I heard the following "accounts" of Lily's adventures:

Bette: I did a bad thing. Lily asked me where you were and I just flippantly said you left. Lily told me, "Oh no! My mama would NEVER leave me!" Then she started to cry. Sheila came over and fixed it, but she was just so insistent in her belief that you were obviously still here. 

Gail: Emerald, your daughter is hilarious! In our class about missionaries, [my husband] Daryl was describing being a sailor. Lily was listening intently and I could tell she was really paying attention and taking things in. Then she leans over and whispers to me, "pirates are sailors. But pirates don't brush their teeth so their teeth turn green as frogs." Then she started studying Daryl again. 

(Side note: when I asked her where they were sailing to Lily told me she didn't know because she was too busy listening)

Amy: Emerald, your daughter is hilarious! She's so decisive and opinionated! I thought she was just like you, but she's not! She's JUST like Grand-Da! She expresses her opinion then argues with you until you agree or give in. Where you know when to quit, she pushes just like him! 

Sheila: Emerald, your daughter is hilarious! The kids were playing tag after lunch, but of course little kids don't have rules--they just run around all crazy until they get tired. At one point, Lily comes over to me and sits down in my lap--which has NEVER happened in the time that I've known her. She says, "Running takes energy. I am out of energy. I need to sit here and recharge." Which she did for the next few minutes. Then she told me she was all charged up and ran off to play tag again. 

Anna: Emerald, your daughter is hilarious!
Emerald: I'm noticing a theme here. 
Anna: At our station, the kids were supposed to color a "child of the world." Lily told me she didn't color, but that she wanted me to do it and do it a certain way. She was very explicit with where she asked me to color what and how she wanted me to do it. I decided it would be best if I just followed her orders. 

Apparently, each person Lily met following that initial realization that I was gone was also grilled for information about my whereabouts. After answering, they all said she stared at them, as if deciding whether to believe them or not. 

I guess next time, I'm attending VBS. 

Saturday, July 27, 2013

Lily's First VBS

Mommy: So what did you learn about?
Lily: God. Oh! And missionaries. We can help them. The missionaries. 
Mommy: How can we help missionaries?
Lily: By putting coins in a box. Or a can!

Mommy: What did you eat for lunch?
Lily: grapes and two cookies. The first one was messy, but the second one was EVEN MESSIER!
Mommy: What a world you live in, that the value of a cookie is determined by how messy it is. 

Friday, July 26, 2013


Within 20 minutes of arriving at Noni & Grand-Da's last night, Grand-Da had Lily correctly operating a Dyson vacuum cleaner and was "overseeing" her progress from a "supervisory" position. 

I must say, she did an excellent job for someone who is 6 inches shorter than the vacuum. 

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

My heart doesn't feel like it anymore.

While reading BOB books with Lily:
Mommy: Ok. It's your turn. You read it to me. 
Lily: I don't want to. 
Mommy: It's ok if you don't know all the words. I'll help you. 
Lily: No, thank you. 
Mommy: I'll give you chocolate if you read the book to me. 
Lily: (immediately starts reading) Mac had a bag...(continues to read book flawlessly. Receives chocolate.) Can we read another book?

After reading the next book:
Mommy: Ok. It's your turn. You read it to me. 
Lily: Will I get chocolate if I read it. 
Mommy: Nope. You can just read it out of the kindness of your heart. 
Lily: My heart doesn't feel like it anymore. 

Monday, July 22, 2013

My milk tastes funny!

Lily: My milk tastes funny.
Mommy: That's odd. My milk tastes just fine. 
Daddy: Let me see that milk. (Takes glass; rummages in fridge; stirs; hands glass back to Lily) Taste it now. 
Lily: (Sips milk. Considers taste with a scientific face) It tastes like...chocolate! Mommy! You forgot to put the chocolate in it!

Spanish Elves

We are watching the first Lord of the Rings. It comes to the scene where Arwen is rushing Frodo to Rivendale while being chased by the Nazgul (for the record, having a three year old who knows what Hobbits and Nazgul are is awesome). Arwen stops and says some words in Elvish and water comes crashing down...

Lily: What's she doing?
Daddy: She's making the water come and take the Nazgul away.
Lily: With her Spanish?

Thursday, July 18, 2013

Shopping for Jello

Lily got to go to the 20 week ultrasound with us and watch the doctor use "the magic wand" to determine Jello's gender. After he was done, Lily made me pull up my shirt and show her my belly to "make sure" Jello was ok and also that my belly was still there.

Afterwards, Lily, Daddy and I went shopping, where Lily helped us pick out Jello's first two outfits that belong only to HER:

Thoughts on naming Jello

This post is from June, when we found out Jello was a girl and were first discussing what to name her. It has been "censored" until now. 

Mommy: ok, Lily.  What do you think we should name Jello?
Lily: Zara. 
Daddy: hey! What about Arwyn?
Lily: nope, Zara. 
Daddy: (to mommy) did you coach her?
Mommy: nope. I gave her a choice and even said Arwyn second to give you the best chance. 
Daddy: are you SURE you wouldn't rather Arwyn. 
Lily: how about Arwyn-Zara?
Mommy: Arwyn Zara Lemmons?
Daddy: no. She said Arwyn-Zara Evangeline Lemmons. With a hyphen. 
Mommy: (frowns) Too long. Ok. I'm going to give you three choices. You tell me which you like best. 
Lily: ok!
Mommy: Zara Evangeline Lemmons. Arwyn Evangeline Lemmons. Arwyn Zara Lemmons. 
Mommy & Daddy: what are you doing!?
Lily: practicing to see which one yells easiest. 

Lily: when I was in your tummy, I could see Jello too. And she is the cutest baby in the world. And I talked to her. 
Mommy: what did you talk about?
Lily: we talked about naming her Zara. Because its a pretty name and I NEED her to be named Zara. And Jello likes it. It's a princess name. I like being a princess. 
Mommy: does Jello like being a princess?
Lily: oh yes! Jello loves being a princess! Just like me!

Mommy: what should Jello's middle name be?
Lily: Queen. 

When will I be an adult?

Lily: When will I be a grown up?
Mommy: what do you consider a grown up?
Lily: an adult. 
Mommy: legally? When you are 18.  You are currently 3. That means you have 15 years to go. 
Lily: I can't wait to be an adult. And be tall. And eat two sprinkled donuts. 
Mommy: is that a perk of being an adult? Eating two sprinkled donuts?
Lily: yep. I like sprinkles. 

Sunday, July 14, 2013

Visiting GG & GPa

We have had the pleasure of getting to visit with Eric's grandparents this week. Within an hour of our arrival, Lily had Joe, who just celebrated his 90th birthday, in the backyard playing ball and using his cane upside down as a golf club. Within an hour of that, she was running (at their suggestion) fully clothed through their sprinklers, shrieking with laughter. 

GPa: (leans down to fiddle with the direction of a sprinkler head)
GG: Joseph! Leave that alone! It's fine how it is!
GPa: Well! The little girl gets to play in the water! I felt left out. 

With GG, Lily got to take her first genuine--not a Zoo train--train ride to Santa Fe. Then GG and GPa took us to Explora, a science museum, where we all got to play with hands-on science stations--and ride in an elevator that was so big, it held a couch and three chairs. It was the favorite "exhibit" for all of us--we rode it several times. 

We also got to see an iMax movie about Monarch butterflies. During the movie, while describing challenges the butterflies face during migration, the film showed a Monarch caterpillar falling into a bed of ants...who proceeded to eat him. Lily was highly distressed and has been on a mission to squish every ant she has seen since. 

GG: You'll have to come visit us again! Maybe next time we can go to the aquarium. 
Lily: and your church?
GG: yep. 
Lily: and play with the dolls with dolls in them?
Entire Table: baffled expressions 
Daddy: Do you mean GG's nesting dolls?
Lily: Yeah!! Each doll has another doll in it. I like that. 

It's been a wonderful trip and we are all sad to go. 

Chatting With Uncle Bob

While visiting GG & GPa, Lily's great grandparents, GG's brother Bob asked to "Skype" with Lily. He said it had been many years since he'd been around young children and he was unsure of what to talk about, but the two of them had quite the conversation anyway. 

Uncle Bob: Can you say super-cali-fragi-listic-expi-ali-docious?
Lily: (who, admittedly, had been coached prior to the call) super-cali-fragi-listic-expi-ali-docious. 
Uncle Bob: what a lot of words for such a little girl!

Uncle Bob: I heard you rode the train to Santa Fe. What was your favorite part of the train ride?
Lily: The bathroom. 
Uncle Bob: Well, I understand that. 

Uncle Bob: How did you get such long beautiful hair?
Lily: It grew. Girls need long hair for the rats to live in. I have lots of rats in my hair, but I can't feel them. I try to leave them alone. (Conspiratorially) They might bite!

Uncle Bob: Do you have a boyfriend?
Lily: no! Ewwww!
Uncle Bob: why not?
Daddy: Because you're not allowed to have a boyfriend until you're thirty. 
Lily: Because I'm not allowed to have a boyfriend until I'm thirty.
Uncle Bob: Could Daddy be your boyfriend?
Lily: No. Not yet. 
Uncle Bob: Oh. Because he's not thirty? 
Lily: Right!

Song Titles of the Day

Recently, Lily delighted our ears with the following selection of self-composed songs:

"You Shouldn't Eat Poisonous Mushrooms"
"Beetles are Bad"
"Never Put a Lizard in Your Eye (Because He Might Breathe Fire" 
"Everything Is Pink" (while in Victorias Secret)
"Flower, Flower, Grow and be Pretty"
"I Won't Tell You Jello's Name (Not Even If You Ask Nicely!)" (this one has a lovely musical bridge of "no's")
"Put A Can on your Head"
"Trains, Trains, Trains!" (Sung loudly for a store-wide audience from inside the restroom of a fancy baby-stuff store)
"One Day I'll Be a Grown-Up" (and My Little Dresses Won't Fit Anymore!)

Sunday, July 7, 2013

Getting Wider

Mommy: (to Lily who is laying down) could you sit up please? (Lily sits up then lays down again on her tummy instead of her back) The point was for you to sit up so I could reach you better. 
Lily: why can't you reach me?
Mommy: because to lean forward, I have to lean around Jello and that's getting harder. 
Lily: why is that getting harder ?
Daddy: because as Jello gets bigger, Mommy gets bigger. 
Lily: and wider?
Daddy: (cackling with laughter) Yep. And wider too. 
Lily: Just like you Daddy! (Daddy stops laughing)