Thursday, December 20, 2012

Lily-isms

Singing to herself...
Lily: Father Abraham has too many sons. Too many sons has Father Abraham...

Lily (to Andrew): Yo ho ho! Merry Christmas!! (Leans in conspiratorially) That's what pirates say.

Lily: I'm tie-uhd.
Daddy: I don't know what tie-uhd means. Are you tired?
Lily: no! I'm tie-uhd!
Daddy: define tie-uhd.
Lily: tie-uhd is when you need to go home to watch one episode of Jake and the Neverland Pirates THEN go potty and go to bed.

(Lily and Andrew received suckers from the pharmacy, immediately unwrapped them and put them in their mouths )
Lily: I have a blue sucker. What color sucker does Andrew have?
Mommy: (looks down at wrappers to see one blue wrapper for Lily and one purple wrapper for Andrew) purple.
Lily: (giggles) nope! Red! (Elbows Andrew who removes the sucker from his mouth to prove its red color...run they both giggle)
Mommy: (looks from one giggling, mischievous child to the other) I stand corrected.

Lily: I am NOT "prick sauce!"
Andrew: un huh!
Lily: Mommy!!!! Andrew is calling me "prick sauce!" I am not "prick sauce!!" I am Trixie!
Andrew: nope.
Lily: MOMMY!!!!!
Mommy: Lily, he's not saying "prick sauce," he's calling you a "princess."
Lily: (looks sheepish) ohhhhhhh. THAT I am.

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Lily-isms: Variety Pack

(Singing to herself)
Lily: Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle all the way. Going for the Walrus store in a one horse open sleigh. Hey!

After buying Lily & Andrew matching Tummy Tickler juice bottles...
Lily: Mommy? Did you write our names on our juice bottles?
Mommy: Yes, ma'am.
Lily: That's AMAZING! Mommy? You're a genius!

After work...
Daddy (to Mommy): So, was Lily good today?
Mommy (holds out hand and indicated imaginary orb): do you see this? Right here? In my hand? THIS is my LAST nerve.
Lily: Your LAST nerve? Mommy? Can I have it, please? (After shock wears off, mommy hands imaginary nerve to Lily who pops it in her mouth and smiles)...I ate it.

When Andrew tried to steal Lily's nose medicine...
Lily: "Andrew Glenn Jerrick Lemmons! You have to believe us! You don't get to open things."

The end of an informative to Mommy conversation about piercings...
Auntie Kayla: my belly button ring is off (meaning crooked) because it got ripped out.
Lily: Your belly button is off!? Can I see it!?

Lily: Uncle Kendell? Do you have hair?
Kendell: No, Lily, I don't have any hair.
Lily: Grandpa doesn't have any hair either! (Giggles)

(Upon waking up after a sleepover with Mommy and Daddy in Lily's room)
Mommy: I'm awfully hungry. This baby arm sure does look tasty. (Pretends to eat Lily's arm)
Lily: No! (Giggles) I'm not edible!
Daddy: but you do look so tasty! Just a little nibble (pretends to eat Lily's other arm)
Lily: (giggles) I need a sister.
Mommy: why do you need a sister? So we will eat her instead of you?
Lily: Nope. So she can help me.
Mommy: You mean so the two of you could gang up on us?
Lily: Yup.
Mommy (to Daddy): I think Lily feels outnumbered.
Lily: Yup.

Thursday, December 6, 2012

Truth in the Tinsel, Day 2: Zechariah

Today's Verse: Luke 1:5-25 (note: reading 20 verses from the bible to 3-year-olds is not smart. Tried the children's version of the bible and not only did it NOT hold their attention, but it also left out the part about Zechariah doubting Gabriel and the angel causing Zechariah to be unable to speak because of his disbelief...which is the main point of making this ornament! Frustration!)

Today's ornament: Zechariah, so that when we look at him we remember to believe what God says, no matter how impossible it seems.

Today's supplies: paint pens from when I made ornaments for Kayla and Marnie, silver ornaments from an after Christmas sale two years ago, the tiny band aids I never use because they are too small for any possible injury I could inflict on myself, and beads from a bible class Jen Arnel and I taught our junior year of college. Score 2 pts for personal goal!

Funny Moments:

Me: What vision did Zechariah see in the temple?
Lily: balloons and cake!

Me: what good news did the angel Gabriel have for Zechariah and his wife Elizabeth?
Andrew: a SWORD!!!!

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Truth in the Tinsel, Day 1: Light

Auntie Melissa discovered this really cool advent project called Truth in the Tinsel, where the kids get to read a different passage of the bible each day and make a corresponding Christmas ornament. We both decided to do it with the kids this year and see how it goes. She plans on doing the project each day with Taevin, while our schedule only allows for about 13 days, days give or take 1.

I'm really excited about doing something different in addition to the Sing Spell Read and Write color unit we've been doing (this is week 9 of 11), and also about having a scheduled craft for each day. I feel like we don't do nearly enough organized art around here.

Also, it's a personal goal of mine to only use things from around the house for this project. Today's craft: leftover black card stock from an art project my junior year of college, tissue paper from Lily's baby shower, and craft paper I bought at the after Christmas sale while terribly hormonal having just found out I was pregnant with Lily. Apparently, hormones can convince me I like scrap booking.

Yesterday, we made pretty paper chain garlands to hang our ornaments from and today we made our first ornament: a silhouette of a candle representing Jesus as the light of the world (text: Isaiah 9:2-8). Today's verse was boring for 3-year-olds, but they LOVED the craft and they turned out SO CUTE!

Friday, November 2, 2012

Republican Lily vs. Democrat Andrew

(Read capitalized words as shouting)

Mommy: (to the tiny voters) We are going to take a field trip to vote for the president today.

Lily (the small Republican propagandist): But I don't LIKE the president today!

Andrew (the good 'ole Democrat): Presents!!!!? I LOVE presents!! We ALL get PRESENTS!?

Lily (the Republican Propagandist): We don't NEED presents. Everything is WONDERFUL! And we are NOT going to scream and we are NOT going to hit and we are NOT going to think!



I couldn't make this stuff up!

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Why is Babaar's Mother Dead? (or how I discovered my 3-year-old is a republican idealist)

After reading naptime book #2...

Lily: Why is Babaar's mother dead?
Mommy: Because the greedy hunter shot her.
Lily: Why did he shoot her?
Mommy: because he wanted to sell her tusks.
Lily: Why did he want to sell her tusks?
Mommy: because elephant tusks are made of ivory and they are very valuable. If he took her tusks, he could sell them and make lots of money to buy all the things he wanted: houses, cars, candy, etcetera.
Lily: Will the greedy hunter shoot me?
Mommy: (mentally tossing that wretched Babaar book out the window, the window, the second story window) Absolutely not! You do not have tusks because you are not an elephant.
Lily: (ponders this for a moment) The greedy hunter should get a job instead so he has money for candy and doesn't have to shoot Babaar's mother.

Etcher, Gotchee & Laashy Made Me Do It!

After an hour of listening to Lily play instead of nap, I went upstairs and in to her room. After settling in together in her story chair...

Mommy: Why aren't you sleeping, Lily?
Lily: Well, at first I was sleeping, but then there was the new family.
Mommy: What new family?
Lily: The new family in my room. Their names are Etcher, Gotchee, and Laashy. (She leans in, conspiratorially) They talked to me.
Mommy: What did they say?
Lily: (whispers) They said I should run around my room and play with all this stuff...so I did. (she gives me a grin)
Mommy: Well could you please tell Etcher, Gotchee & Laashy to find another place to play so that you can nap?
Lily: Yep! I'll tell them to go to Andrew's room!

The Birds and the Bees and the Giraffes

(while at the Zoo yesterday)

Lily: Daddy, Daddy! Did you know the giraffes names are Asha and Punk? (information acquired from the poor PA system on the Zoo train; not necessarily accurate)
Daddy: Nope.
Lily: Daddy, Daddy! Did you know both the giraffes are girls?
Daddy: Nope.
Mommy (and I'm still not sure what possessed me to say this) Lily, Lily! Did you know that the Zoo is raising money to acquire a boy giraffe from another zoo?
Lily: (looks puzzled) Why would they do that?
Mommy: Well, if the boy giraffe likes either Asha or Punk they can get married and make baby giraffes.
Lily: (thinks for a minute, then says excitedly) Can we!!?
Mommy: (shares horrified look with Daddy) Can we what, honey?
Lily: Can we give the Zoo the money to buy a boy giraffe so Asha and Punk can make giraffes babies!? Can we please?

Thursday, August 30, 2012

Lilyisms--Football fan

Uncle Cookie: Andrew Glen!! Get off of Lily! She's not a play toy!
Lily: that's right, Andrew Glen! I'm not a play toy. I'm a REAL toy!

Lily: I can do that (points to tv).
Mommy: play football?
Lily: yep! You get the ball and fall down on it.

Monday, August 27, 2012

Are you being obstinate?

Mommy: are you being obstinate?
Lily: Yes. Like my daddy.
Daddy: You MEANT like your Grand-Da.

Saturday, August 25, 2012

I Want To Go To Cracker Barrel

While deciding what to have for dinner, Lily said she wanted to go to Cracker Barrel. Eric and I looked at each other. He said,"At least Lily was decisive." I said, "We did pray for her to be that way." So, to Cracker Barrel we went...for the second time this week.

When we got there and settled, she said, "May I go play with the dollhouse now?" And we understood why she suddenly wanted to go to Cracker Barrel so much. It's a good thing Noni and Grand-Da bought her a dollhouse for her birthday!

When it was time to go, we warned Lily she had one more minute.
Lily: No. I have two.
Daddy: We will compromise. One and a half.
Lily: nope. I'm two. I need two minutes!

Monday, August 20, 2012

Andrew's first day back!!!

This summer there has been an oft-heard mantra in the Lemmons household. It goes something like this, "Miss. That. Kid!" Andrew has been sorely missed by all of us, directly or indirectly, but he has been missed most of all by Lady Lily.

To celebrate his return, we went to the park with some MOPS friends, the splash park with Auntie Kayla and then ate a happy lunch of chicken salad before a long nap.

It was a great day followed by a sad goodbye from Lily, who wanted Andrew to stay with her (imagine this said in sad toddler voice, accompanied by big mournful brown eyes). But she threw him over at the promise of a pretty pink manicure from Auntie Kayla. Such is life. ;)

Saturday, August 11, 2012

I'm like a boy

While running down the hall, Lily trips, falls & picks herself right back up.

Lily: I tripped. But I'm ok.
Daddy: I'm glad. Why are you ok? (expected response: because I got right back up again)
Lily: because I'm like a boy like Andrew!

Playing With Miss Meagan

Squishing Grand-Da's Pills

(While in Sam's Club)
Mommy: (looks over in horror to see Lily using the flap of the buggy to squish Grand-Da's freshly purchased medicine) DON'T SQUISH GRAND-DA'S MEDICINE!
Lily: (sad face) but I was just squishing it.
Grand-Da: it's okay. I don't really want that medicine anyway. (they share a look)
Lily & Grand-Da: SQUISH!!!!!

Why is this a toothbrush?

Lily: (holding Daddy's toothbrush) why is this a toothbrush?
Daddy: because that's what the manufacturer wanted it to be.
Lily: but WHY is it a toothbrush!?
Daddy: why are you a little girl?
Lily: you mean, why am I a big girl?
Daddy: (giggling) yes. Why are you a big girl?
Lily: because I brush my teeth.

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Twist My Arm a Little

Mommy: what would you like for dinner, Lily?
Lily: PANCAKES!
Mommy: Alright. How about two pancakes?
Lily: How about one pancake, instead?
Mommy: Well fine then. Twist my arm a little.
Lily: (happily starts twisting my arm)

Saturday, July 21, 2012

Imagination

Lily's imagination has been running wild lately. From the bear who lives under her bed and must be appeased nightly with strawberries to the complete set of miniature imaginary Barcrofts she keeps in her pocket (because who doesn't want a spare mom, an on-call cartoonist, an instant playmate, and a baby sister that one can take out and put away at will), she certainly keeps us entertained. Did I mention her pocket is sometimes imaginary too?

While antiquing with Noni in Waxahatchie, Lily struck up a conversation with a store owner. It was 108 in Waxahatchie that week, and the store owner did not have air conditioning in her shop. Lily told her it would be ok "'acause my friend the polar bear is driving his white pickup truck down from the north pole and bringing the cold air with him. He keeps a fan in the bed of his truck to blow the cold air with." We then all HAD to go sit on the bench outside to wait for Mr. Polar Bear to get there.

On our recent trip to New Mexico, Lily looked out the window at a field full of creatures that were clearly a bushes and said, "Mommy! Auntie Marnie! Look at the cows!!" We dutifully looked out all available windows, seeing nothing but rolling meadows filled with scrubby looking bushes. There was not a cow in sight. Puzzled, I said, "Lily. I don't see any cows. All I see is bushes." To which my daughter replied, shaking her little head sadly at my ignorance, "Mooooom! The bushes are attending (pretending) to be cows!"

During nap time yesterday, Lily's bed transformed into a magical train, which has a special route between our house and Sonic. Games like this get her in trouble, though. Sam's Club is NOT the only place she's tried to pay for real items with imaginary money and a smile. Alas, the Zoo attendants really won't let you pay for a train ride and duck food with imaginary quarters.

Lily's first cookies

...to bake, not eat. ;)

This afternoon, Lily and I decided to bake cookies. Lily is an excellent butter-unwrapper, measurer, oven-door-opener, and timer-setter. She is also an excellent sharer (with Daddy of course)!

Saturday, July 14, 2012

Rescuing Daddy's Car

About a month ago, Eric's car broke down. It was a minor issue and has since been repaired, but it required Lily and I to rescue the car from "bad guys" in the Schlotzky's parking lot and ferry it to the car doctor at DJ's 5-Star Auto.

Mommy: we have to rescue Daddy's car.
Lily: From bad guys?
Mommy: Yep. From bad guys.
Lily: I'll get my sword! (pulls out imaginary sword)
Mommy: we need a different kind of tool to fight these bad guys. We need a tow rope instead of a sword.
Lily: ok! Let's get one.
(we drive to O'Reilly Auto Parts; Lily marches in and up to the counter)
Lily to the sales clerk: I need a tow rope.
Sales Clerk, peering over the tall counter to see Lily: What kind of tow rope do you need?
Lily: Well the kind that tows cars of course!

Lily's Piano Returns!!

After months in the piano hospital, our piano returned home today! Lily has already tested it and found it to be better than new.

How Lily prevents laundry folding...

Friday, July 13, 2012

But I have imaginary money!

While in Sam's Club yesterday, Lily asked, as usual, for a hot dog.

Mommy: I'm sorry Lily. We don't have money for a hot dog today.
Lily: But I have money!
Mommy: really?
Lily: Yes. See? It's imaginary money.
Mommy: that's nice honey, but Sam's Club doesn't accept imaginary money.
Lily: But Mr. Sam (meaning Sam Hansen from church) DOES accept real money!

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Dinosaur Lily-isms

Older Lady in Walmart: Why, you are so pretty, you look just like a movie star!
Lily: I am NOT a movie star! I am a triceratops!

(While driving)
Mr. Jeremy, Daddy's grammar-Nazi friend: So, I heard you like dinosaurs. I like dinosaurs too. My favorite is the Brachiosaur.
Lily: Mr. Jeremy! It's not a Brachiosaur! It's a Brachiosaurus!
Mr. Jeremy: You are quite right quite right, Lily. I stand...er...sit corrected.

(Lily plays a game where she tells you what type of dinosaur she thinks you are. While on vacation last weekend, she met a childhood friend of her daddy's for the first time. He is ex-military and has a playful, macho personality)
Mommy: What kind of dinosaur is Mr. Dustin?
Mr. Dustin: Am I a T-Rex? (makes motions pretending to be a T-Rex)
Lily: No.
Kayla: I'm a T-Rex! A rompin' stompin' T-Rex!
Lily: (giggling) Yes!
Mommy: Is he a Velociraptor like Mommy?
Lily: (giggling as Dustin pretends to be a Velociraptor) No.
Mommy: is he an Ankylosaurus like Mr. Tomas?
Mr. Dustin: I always liked the Ankylosaurus!
Lily: Nope.
Mommy: Is he a Brachiosaurus like Mr. Jeremy?
Lily: No.
Marnie: is he a Triceratops?
Lily: No.
Kayla: Stegosaurus?
Lily: No.
Mommy: Is he a Pteranodon like Daddy?
Lily: (more giggles) No.
Marnie: Well, is he a dinosaur at all?
Lily: Yep!
(all adults think through mental episodes of Dinosaur Train, trying to come up with additional dinosaurs she would know)
Mommy: I've got it! Is he an Archaeopteryx?
Lily: YES!
Mr. Dustin: (looks confused, leans over to Mommy) What is an Archaeopteryx?
Mommy: (giggling) A small, feathered bird-like dinosaur with wings but is unable to fly.
Mr. Dustin: (visibly deflated) Oh.

(upon waking up in the morning)
Lily: I'm hungry like a Pteranodon, not a Triceratops.
Mommy: Really? What does that mean?
Lily: Triceratops eat leaves. Yuck. Leaves are not good for me. Pteranodons eat fish. I like fish...GOLDfish. (grins and looks hopeful)

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

First Ballet Lesson

It was a little rocky toward the end, but Lily had a great time at her first "ballerina lesson" this afternoon.

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Two Cute Cows

Lily & Nathan at our recent MOPs (Mothers of Pre-Schoolers) Fundraiser at Chick Fil A.

(Thanks Andrea for the awesome paint job!)

I'll Get You With My Sword!

Lily recently attended her very first movie in the theaters: Brave.

All in all, It was a great experience! She got candy, a drink, a Mexican dinner at El Chico beforehand, and a booster seat between Mommy and Daddy (which she did sit in from our arrival to about a little over halfway through the movie). We all LOVED the movie but we did have a little bit of trouble during the climax when the two bears are fighting and Lily stood up in her seat, pulled out her trusty imaginary sword and yelled, "No, No, Bad Bear! I'll get you! I'll get you with my sword!"

Monday, July 2, 2012

Through the monitor...

30 minutes after bedtime, through the baby monitor:

Lily: Ahhhhhh! The bad guys! The bad guys! The bad guys are all killing me! ::pause for listening to the stairs::
Mommy! Daddy! I need to be saved!!

Mommy to Daddy: are you going to save her or shall I?

(Daddy stomps up the stairs, bounds into the room. Sounds of swashbuckling and dying bad guys float through the monitor; Daddy stomps back down stairs)

Lily through the monitor: Daddy there's something I have to tell you! Daddy!

(Daddy stomps back upstairs)

Lily through the monitor: I like your shirt.

Sunday, May 13, 2012

I'm a giraffe!

This morning Lily decided she would wear her Pebbles Flintstone costume to church.

Lily: I'm a giraffe!! Daddy, are you a giraffe?
Daddy: no. I'm wearing grey.
Lily: what are you?
Daddy: (thinks)
Mommy: a rhinoceros
Lily: what color are you, Mommy?
Daddy: black and white
Mommy: what are you implying, Dear?
Daddy: nothing. I'm trying to think of a small, petite, black and white animal.

Friday, May 11, 2012

Shopping with Uncle Q

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Twenty-Seven

Lily: I am two. (*holding up two fingers*) How old are you Daddy? Are you three? (*holds up three fingers*)
Daddy: I am 27.
Lily: (*looks at fingers*) I can't find 27 on my hands.

Good News

Mommy: I have good news for you!
Daddy: What good news?
Mommy: You're car is fixed!
Lily: I have good news for you!
Daddy: What good news?
Lily: Baby Jesus was born!

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

American Idol A La Lily

While listening to Holly Cavanaugh sing Bonnie Raitt's "I can't make you love me:"
Lily: What's she singing about?
Mommy: love.
Lily: I don't think so. I think she's singing about love. I think she's singing about cats and doggies...and pirates.

Cuddles*

Lily & Andrew have had a lovey dovey morning, running errands with Auntie Em.

*this post is from several weeks ago

"Boys don't wear panties..."

According to Lily: "Boys don't wear panties, they wear dirty pull ups." ::said with frownie face at the word dirty::

While rough-housing with Mommy on the couch:
Lily: no, no Mommy (shakes finger), we don't throw people. That's not nice!
Mommy: Oh, sorry. You're right. No throwing people.
Lily: we can go outside and throw basket balls. Outside. And we can bring out our buckets for dirt. Outside. But we don't throw people Mommy.
Mommy: You're right. How did you get to be so smart?
Lily: Daddy.

Friday, May 4, 2012

Best Uncle In The World!

Sunday, April 29, 2012

"I'm Silly!"

Lily: That's right! At ease! Shoo! Ding dong. Ding dong. Get out of my truck. La, la, la, la, la, la, la...etc.

Mommy: (sigh)

Daddy to Lily: are you in a good mood this morning?

Lily: NO!!!!!!!

Daddy: are you in a bad mood?

Lily: NO!!!!!! I'm SILLY!!!!!!

Which is scarier?

Pirate Princess Lily Vs. Demented Doctor Andrew

Go!




Friday, April 13, 2012

The Itsy Bitsy Spider--three sheets to the wind...

Auntie Marnie, Uncle Toph and I accompanied Lily to Mezamiz tonight to hear the live music. Lily LOVES guitars and music and dancing, and they had an a acoustic guitar player scheduled for their courtyard. He was pretty great and she loved him and had a great time.

When it was time to go home, she went up to him and thanked him for playing for us. He thought she was cute--which she is, of course--so he played the Itsy Bitsy Spider for her (pause for effect)... And made the entire crowd sing along with her AND do hand motions.

Most hilarious thing I've seen all week: a crowd full of drunk people arguing over how to make the motion for the spider. PRICELESS! And Lily was thrilled, of course, that all the big people joined in. A fabulous night!


Tuesday, April 10, 2012

"I stamp your forehead, Daddy!"

(she says proudly, while holding the purple flower stamp she "hunted" at our church's Easter egg hunt)

"Mommy there is a tree on her head!"

(what my daughter said to me while viewing the included antique Pepsi advertisement)

Sunday, April 8, 2012

Cooking up some trouble

Lily is enjoying her apron from Grandma, and is "helping" Mommy in the kitchen (who got a matching apron)

Monday, March 26, 2012

Lily-isms Volume Six

(Lily & Andrew singing Twinkle Twinkle)
Lily: Twinkle, twinkle, little star, how I wonder what you are, up above the world so high, like a diamond in the sky, etc.
Andrew: Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, etc.


Daddy: Would you like to go to Nikki's (meaning Nikki's Swirl Shop for frozen yogurt)?
Lily: Yes!!!!!!! We can see Mickey Mouse!? At his house!?
Daddy: No, honey. Nikki's not Mickey's. Only you could take the "If you give a mouse a cookie" principle THAT far!


Thursday, March 8, 2012

I don't like his hypothesis!

(When Andrew attempted to put the wooden train's smokestack on the caboose instead of the engine)
Lily: No, no, no! That doesn't go there.
Mommy: it's ok, Lily. He can play with it however he wants.
Lily: but thats not where it goes!!! (said with tears, wailing and gnashing of teeth)
Mommy: Andrew is like Buddy from Dinosaur Train. He has a theory that the smokestack will fit on the caboose. Now he has to test it by experimenting--by trying to put the smokestack on the caboose. That's how he will learn it doesn't go there.
Lily: ::sniff:: I don't like his hypothesis!


And they say children learn nothing from tv.





Monday, March 5, 2012

Welcome Baby Kelton!***

As of last week, Taevin has been bringing his much-awaited baby brother to play with us during our days. We were a little worried how a one-month old would affect our schedule, but he has folded himself in with us just fine.

The other babies are also very protective of and attentive to him. This morning, while sanitizing a spare pacifier for Kelton...
Taevin: (points at Kelton and looks expectantly at me) Crying!!
Me: Yes. He wants his pacifier. But Daddy forgot it this morning. We're getting his spare though, it's alright.
Taevin: (points at Kelton and looks angrily at me) CRYING!!
Me: I know, darling. I'm working on it.
Lily: Uncle Chris forgot it, Taevin! I call him and tell him to bring it. (she pulls her imaginary cell phone from her imaginary pocket, dials, and places it to her ear) Hello? Uncle Chris? Don't ever ever ever ever forget Kelton's pacifier again! He needs it. Bye bye! (she turns to me) I call Uncle Chris. I fix it.