Friday, June 28, 2013

The Princess at Bedtime

On going to bed, three hours past bedtime:
Lily: tell me a story
Mommy: Once upon a time, there was a beautiful princess. She was smart and funny and clever and creative and amazing in every way and her mommy loved her very much, just the way she was. 
Lily: (smiles. Snuggles into her favorite blanket Auntie Melissa made her. Hugs her stuffed bunny a little tighter. Closes her eyes.) You may turn off my light now. 

Going to Australia

Noni: I'm moving to Australia. 
Lily: that's not a real place! That's a place in a book! (Referring to Alexander and the  Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day)
Mommy: it is so too a real place! 
Noni: you have a cousin who lives in Australia. His name is LJ. 
Lily: (doubtfully) really?
Mommy: Yep. Do you know what he does for a living?
Lily: (raises one eyebrow) what?
Mommy: he runs a pool business. (Lily is still staring) He cleans pools for a living. 
Lily: Really!? That's exciting. We should go visit him!
Mommy: Ok. When?
Lily: Not tonight. Tonight we go to the water park!!

The Princess and the Toast

Lily (upon 10:25am): good morning. I would like to wait in the living room. 
Mommy: what are you waiting for?
Lily: breakfast, of course. 
Noni: (who is, indeed, cooking the princess cinnamon toast) life at the palace is good. Would you peel me a grape?

While Grand-Da and Noni Argue Over Ripe Peaches...

Saturday, June 22, 2013

Noni, is that a little kid toaster?

I want a cherry vanilla cherry cherry slushy.

(At Sonic)
Grand-Da: I would like a cherry vanilla cherry cherry slushy. 
Noni: do they even make that!?
Grand-Da: they do and you say it just like that, I WANT a cherry vanilla cherry cherry slushy!
Noni: are you sure that's what you want?
Em: you say it just like that and he can be happy with whatever the poor little Sonic employee decides a cherry vanilla cherry cherry slushy is. 
Noni: ok. Lily, what would you like?
Lily: a cherry vanilla cherry cherry slushy. 
Noni: I think Lily & Grand-Da need to be separated. 

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Conversation With Grand-Da:

Lily: if Grand-Da buys me a pony, you can brush it. 
Mommy: if Grand-Da buys you a pony YOU can brush it...and feed it...and scoop its poop...and clean its stall...and take it for walks. 
Lily: that's silly. 
Mommy: I think you better go tell Grand-Da you want a carousel pony instead, before he buys you something we have to feed. 
Lily: (runs to Grand-Da) I want a carousel pony instead. 
Grand-Da: you want a cell phone!?
Lily: no! A caros...a curro...a sella...I want a pony I don't have to feed. 
Grand-Da: wouldn't you rather a cellphone?

Noni, does this work?

Lily: I need to finish my water. 
Grand-Da: would you like some ice?
Lily: yes. I can get it. 
Grand-Da: no you can't. 
Lily: Yes I can! I'm a big girl!
Grand-Da: I'm telling you, no you can't. 
Lily: Yes! I! Can!
Grand-Da: where are you going to get it from?
Lily: (points to the ice maker in the refrigerator door)
Grand-Da: nope. It's broken. 
Lily: (thinks) (yells) Noni!? Is the ice maker really broken!?
Grand-Da: you don't believe me? Try it. 
Lily: (tries it. Two ice cubes fall out. Grand-Da is shocked.) See?

Sunday, June 16, 2013

Lilyisms: Disney Vacation Edition

Last week, Lily made her first trip to Disney World. While there, I kept a running blog post per day of all the cute and funny things she said. I will post each day individually. If you only want to read a few, my favorite days are the Magic Kingdom days and Day 7.  Enjoy! --Em

Friday, June 14, 2013

Day 7: Rinse and Repeat at the Airport

While waiting for our flight:
Lily: Mommy!! Andrew stole my gum!
Mommy: (knowing she has not given either child any gum) What gum?
Lily: this gum! (Holds up clenched fist)
Mommy: open your fist.
Lily: (opens other fist)
Mommy: open both fists. 
Lily: I AM!!
Daddy: Lily, show your mother both hands. She wants to determine if you have real gum or imaginary gum so she can determine if she needs to beat you or not. 
Mommy: Well, when you say it like that, they definitely won't open their hands!

Em: (Said surprisingly calmly) Andrew, right now we need to have our boarding passes ready so we can board the plane. Also, I need you to hold my hand and stop licking my arm. 
Eric: **blood curdling scream** Lily, it's bad enough I have to hold your hand after you spent the last thirty minutes scraping gum, piece by piece, from the bottom of the airport chairs. Do you REALLY have to lick my arm too! (Puts hand to forehead) Duuuuuuuuuuude!
Uncle Toph: (looks at Marnie happily) No kids! High five!!

Marnie: (watches Eric and Emerald try to wrangle and calm the two slobbering heathen  children and mold them back into respectable citizens capable of handing boarding passes to flight attendants. Smiles gleefully while holding her own boarding pass)
Em: (to Marnie) There is a thought bubble over your head. In it, I hear the hyenas from Lion King singing, "No kids, no kids, la, la, la, la, la, la! Tee hee hee hee hee hee hee!"
Marnie: Funny! That's exactly what I was really thinking!

Eric: Why do I feel like we've had more "Duuuuuuuuuuude!" moments today, than any other day. 
Em:'s "Day 7: Rinse and Repeat at the Airport Day?"
Eric: Now I know why God REALLY rested on the 7th day. (Looks at Lily and Andrew) Adam and Eve must have really been something! (Pretending to be God) "No! Stop that! You did what!? Really!? You ate the apple!? No, it was not just her fault! Duuuuuuuuuuuude!"

Thursday, June 13, 2013

Day 6: Last Day! Magic Kingdom again

At Breakfast with Mary Poppins:

Mad Hatter: (to another family) You're going to EPCOT today? You know that EPCOT stands for Every Person Leaves Tired, right!?

Mad Hatter: ahh! That one looks dangerous! (Points to Andrew who is holding a butter knife menacingly) Can I take a picture with you, Butter Knife?
Q: And THAT is Andrew's new nickname. 

Q: Meet me outside the bathroom. 
Andrew: Where is Q?
Cookie: he went on the potty ride. 
Andrew: (considers this) I go potty ride?
Cookie: yep. But you have to leave your book. This is a water ride. 

After viewing Philharmagic ride:
Daddy: was that cool?
Lily: No!! was aMAZEing!!!

After viewing Storytime with Belle (in which Uncle Toph played the role of a knight and Lily played the role of Chip):
Mommy: those casting choices could  not have been more perfect!
Auntie Marnie: I know. Especially Lily! (Mimicking Chip's line from the movie:) "But I'm not sleepy!"
Lily: (from Uncle Toph's shoulders) Me neither!!

On Main Street:
Mommy: Lily, I need to go potty. Do...
Lily: (Interupts) I DO NOT NEED TO GO POTTY!
Mommy: Oh, Lily! Before Jello comes, you're going to get awfully tired of me saying that, huh?
Lily: No. I'm just tired. 

Daddy: Are you ok?
Lily: No! I want to be back at the hotel, and take a bath, and cool off, and put on my watch, and go back outside, and get some fresh air, and THEN I'll be good.

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Disney: Day 3, Animal Kingdom & swimming at hotel

While watching a plane fly over the pool:
Lily: look at its sparkly tail feather!!

Disney: Day 5, Hollywood Studios

After dancing in a parade with Stich:
Lily: Lilo's dog took me for a walk!!

At the Indiana Jones stunt show:
(Harrison Ford's stunt double enters from a rope through the ceiling, dodges the booby traps, switches the bag of sand for the priceless artifact, and runs from the giant boulder)
Lily: hey! That guy did the same stuff as Daring Do on My Little Ponies in the episode where Rainbow Dash breaks her wing and has to read. Except Daring Do is faster than the boulder. 

(Stunt Doubles for Indy and Marion race to escape Nazi soldiers and a burning plane. I look down and Lily's hands are over her face)
Mommy: Lily, it's ok! They're just pretending. Indy and Marion will be alright. 
Lily: (distressed voice) I know. But I broke a nail! (shows me broken nail; rips off broken nail; smiles at me) But its ok. I fixed it. 

Meeting Phineas and Ferb!!!!!!

On the way to Fantasmic:
Toph: (to Emerald, about Eric and Jarrod) Why are they moving so fast!!? Don't they remember you're pregnant and I'm lazy?

After seeing Fantasmic (which is a live pyrotechnic show):
Lily: That movie was FUN!

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Disney: Day 4, Epcot

At 7:30am, while still asleep:
Lily: **giggles manically for about 45 minutes**
At 8:30am, finally awake:
Daddy: what were you dreaming about?
Lily: Chocolate dress!! ** giggles manically again**

At Nemo and Friends:
Lily: why are the seagulls so rude?
Mommy: because they are hungry. I know I have trouble being polite when Im hungry. Do you have trouble being polite when you're hungry?
Lily: nope!

At Marrakesh, in the World Showcase at Morocco, Lily got to dance with a Belly Dancer. 

Trying on a Moroccan hat. 

In "England," meeting Alice!!

Sunday, June 9, 2013

Disney: Day 2, Magic Kingdom

After riding Thunder Mountain Railroad...
Lily: why are we going slow now?

To Cinderella:
Lily: what happened to your finger?
Cinderella: I burned it cooking for the Prince. Can I tell you a secret?
Lily: uh-huh!
Cinderella: I'm not a very good cook. 
Lily: my mommy is a good cook!

While eating lunch at Cinderella's Castle, Princess Aurora comes by. She starts talking to Lily. 
Aurora: Is this your Prince Charming? (Looks at Andrew, who is chewing his broccolini like a giraffe eating a tree...not very prince-like...she looks back at Lily)
So...your dress is pretty.

While riding Pirates of the Caribbean...
Lily: I think those are plastic pirates. 

At 11:30pm after a 15 hour day with no nap...
Mommy: is it bedtime?
Lily: not until I ride the boat!...but I'm going to fall asleep on the boat. 
(She did.)

Saturday, June 8, 2013

Disney: Day 1, First Time on an Airplane

Today, we left for DISNEY WORLD!!! And as such, this warranted rides on a variety of new-to-Lily public transportation, not limited to but including her first time on an airplane!!!

Lily, Jello and Andrew on the train that circles the airport. 

Uncles Q and Toph taking pity on the children and carrying their bags. 

Lily, Andrew and Uncle Q playing at the airport playground (hallelujah for airport playgrounds!!).

Alas, it was a long day. Andrew made it on the plane before he fell asleep. 

Lily made it until the engines turned on. 

The Pirate and the Pirate Princess

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Up and Out of My Throat!

Lily: what are you drinking?
Mommy: mommy juice (cranberry juice) and water. 
Lily: is the water for Jello?
Mommy: yep. 
Lily: I have a Jello in my tummy. I'm feeding it mac and cheese so it will grow bigger and bigger and bigger and come up out of my throat!
Mommy: out of your throat, huh?
Lily: yep. But my throat is kind of a small hole. What if my Jello grows too big for my throat?
Mommy: maybe your throat will expand. 
Lily: (thinks for a second) that's a great idea! It sure is good that throat hole expands. 
Mommy: yep. Throat hole. Uh huh. 

Monday, June 3, 2013

I can't even have this conversation with you right now!

Lily: I'm all dressed. I've got my tutu and my Minnie crown and I'm ready to go. 

Mommy: you look very pretty, but your tutu is see-through. Please go put on some pants under it. 

Lily: I don't think so. I don't like to wear pants under it. 

Mommy: I understand, but its not polite to show your panties while running errands. 

Lily: but pants don't match my outfit!

Mommy: I understand you have a very defined sense of fashion. Put on your pants and we can go now.

Lily: (exasperated) I CAN'T EVEN HAVE THIS CONVERSATION WITH YOU RIGHT NOW! You've made me feel very upset and very ANGRY!

Mommy: (stifling a laugh because psychologist, share-my-feelings Lily is surprisingly cute) I'm sorry you feel that way. Here are two pairs of pants. Take as much time as you need, but you may not leave this room until you are wearing one of them. (Mommy goes to Mommy's room)

(less than one minute later in Mommy's room)

Lily: (in a confidential voice) Sometimes people have to do things they really don't want to do. Things that make them angry. Like wearing pants. Wearing pants makes me angry. But I still love you.