Republican Lily vs. Democrat Andrew

(Read capitalized words as shouting)

Mommy: (to the tiny voters) We are going to take a field trip to vote for the president today.

Lily (the small Republican propagandist): But I don't LIKE the president today!

Andrew (the good 'ole Democrat): Presents!!!!? I LOVE presents!! We ALL get PRESENTS!?

Lily (the Republican Propagandist): We don't NEED presents. Everything is WONDERFUL! And we are NOT going to scream and we are NOT going to hit and we are NOT going to think!



I couldn't make this stuff up!

Why is Babaar's Mother Dead? (or how I discovered my 3-year-old is a republican idealist)

After reading naptime book #2...

Lily: Why is Babaar's mother dead?
Mommy: Because the greedy hunter shot her.
Lily: Why did he shoot her?
Mommy: because he wanted to sell her tusks.
Lily: Why did he want to sell her tusks?
Mommy: because elephant tusks are made of ivory and they are very valuable. If he took her tusks, he could sell them and make lots of money to buy all the things he wanted: houses, cars, candy, etcetera.
Lily: Will the greedy hunter shoot me?
Mommy: (mentally tossing that wretched Babaar book out the window, the window, the second story window) Absolutely not! You do not have tusks because you are not an elephant.
Lily: (ponders this for a moment) The greedy hunter should get a job instead so he has money for candy and doesn't have to shoot Babaar's mother.

Etcher, Gotchee & Laashy Made Me Do It!

After an hour of listening to Lily play instead of nap, I went upstairs and in to her room. After settling in together in her story chair...

Mommy: Why aren't you sleeping, Lily?
Lily: Well, at first I was sleeping, but then there was the new family.
Mommy: What new family?
Lily: The new family in my room. Their names are Etcher, Gotchee, and Laashy. (She leans in, conspiratorially) They talked to me.
Mommy: What did they say?
Lily: (whispers) They said I should run around my room and play with all this stuff...so I did. (she gives me a grin)
Mommy: Well could you please tell Etcher, Gotchee & Laashy to find another place to play so that you can nap?
Lily: Yep! I'll tell them to go to Andrew's room!

The Birds and the Bees and the Giraffes

(while at the Zoo yesterday)

Lily: Daddy, Daddy! Did you know the giraffes names are Asha and Punk? (information acquired from the poor PA system on the Zoo train; not necessarily accurate)
Daddy: Nope.
Lily: Daddy, Daddy! Did you know both the giraffes are girls?
Daddy: Nope.
Mommy (and I'm still not sure what possessed me to say this) Lily, Lily! Did you know that the Zoo is raising money to acquire a boy giraffe from another zoo?
Lily: (looks puzzled) Why would they do that?
Mommy: Well, if the boy giraffe likes either Asha or Punk they can get married and make baby giraffes.
Lily: (thinks for a minute, then says excitedly) Can we!!?
Mommy: (shares horrified look with Daddy) Can we what, honey?
Lily: Can we give the Zoo the money to buy a boy giraffe so Asha and Punk can make giraffes babies!? Can we please?

Lilyisms--Football fan

Uncle Cookie: Andrew Glen!! Get off of Lily! She's not a play toy!
Lily: that's right, Andrew Glen! I'm not a play toy. I'm a REAL toy!

Lily: I can do that (points to tv).
Mommy: play football?
Lily: yep! You get the ball and fall down on it.

Are you being obstinate?

Mommy: are you being obstinate?
Lily: Yes. Like my daddy.
Daddy: You MEANT like your Grand-Da.

I Want To Go To Cracker Barrel

While deciding what to have for dinner, Lily said she wanted to go to Cracker Barrel. Eric and I looked at each other. He said,"At least Lily was decisive." I said, "We did pray for her to be that way." So, to Cracker Barrel we went...for the second time this week.

When we got there and settled, she said, "May I go play with the dollhouse now?" And we understood why she suddenly wanted to go to Cracker Barrel so much. It's a good thing Noni and Grand-Da bought her a dollhouse for her birthday!

When it was time to go, we warned Lily she had one more minute.
Lily: No. I have two.
Daddy: We will compromise. One and a half.
Lily: nope. I'm two. I need two minutes!